When I lived in the UK, I used to like reading the celebrity Q&A in the Guardian’s Weekend magazine. I always wondered what my answers would be to the silly questions they asked, so I thought I’d rip the questions off and have a go!
When were you happiest?
Probably about three months after my son was born and my wife and I realised that we weren’t doing too badly at parenting.
What is your greatest fear?
Losing my family.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
David Attenborough. The man is so passionate about what he does and has, I believe, made a bigger impact on peoples’ scientific knowledge than Dawkins, Hitchens, Jones, Hawking, et al. He’s a modern day Charles Darwin!
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Probably being stung all the way down my back by a jellyfish and having to sport a big red scar the rest of the two week holiday.
Property aside, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My Ampeg Dan Armstrong plexi-glass guitar.
What is your most treasured possession?
My wedding ring.
What would your super power be?
Who would play you in the film of your life?
What is your most unappealing habit?
Putting too much food on my fork before I put it in my mouth.
What is your favourite word?
Is it better to give or to receive?
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Playing the guitar when I should probably be applying for jobs.
What do you owe your parents?
Thankfully, no money. My scientific outlook and my personality.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My wife and son.
What does love feel like?
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Emptying the stomach contents of pike into acetone to preserve it for later investigation. It felt like I stank for weeks afterwards.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
Almost everything between 17 and 25.
How do you relax?
Writing, singing, playing guitar, watching Top Gear.
How often do you have sex?
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Finishing my novel last year. It was a labour of love (see answer to “what does love feel like?”).
What keeps you awake at night?
What song would you like played at your funeral?
Dead by Alice In Chains
How would you like to be remembered?
As that really interesting bloke who always seemed to be thinking about something else.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Look after your blood sugar.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Tell us a joke.
Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road? A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn’t believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
Tell us a secret.
I’m secretly jealous of my wife’s skill with the written word.